Intangibles of Speaking – 20 Ideas to Have Presence and Speak from the Heart
Have you ever seen a speaker who seemed to be doing all the right things but still didn’t connect with the audience? Have you ever been that speaker? It’s like something is missing that you just can’t put your finger on. Well, I believe that’s where the following intangibles of public speaking come into play:
- Speaking from the heart
- Presence
- Mindset
Speaking from the Heart
What does it mean to speak from the heart? You know it when you see it (or feel it), right? To me it means…
- Feeling and believing everything you say.
- Instead of memorizing, you’ve internalized your message.
- You really live the message.
- You have no doubt that what you’re saying is what you should be saying. If you go in with doubts, they’ll come out with doubts.
- Being under the influence of your own emotions during the speech.
- Reliving your stories rather than retelling them
- Emotionally being in each of your scenes because you cannot bring an audience into a scene (at least emotionally) if you’re not in it emotionally.
- Not having to write out your speech and put “Smile here” or “Lift left arm here” to remind yourself of your gestures.
- Being willing to open yourself up to your audience
- Telling your story and admitting your flaws
One day, when I used to run an employment academy for homeless men in Baltimore City, I heard a beautiful sound coming from Bernice’s (one of my Case Managers) office. It literally stopped me dead in my tracks and I asked, “Who is that singing?” Bernice said, “Its Eva Cassidy. She was a singer out of Washington, DC who died way too young. I really feel her songs.”
I felt it too…all the way down the hall! So I purchased the CD (remember CDs?) and was immediately amazed by her simple yet heartfelt renditions. Interestingly enough, she actually has a song called “I Know You by Heart.”
Eva Cassidy sang straight from the heart. I hear others singing the same exact songs but nobody seems to sing them with as much heart as she did. When you listen to her, you know she feels everything she sings. It’s like she’s being sung through. In speaking, at times it can feel like you’re being spoken through. When you have 100% conviction in your message and you can check off numbers 1-10 above, chances are you’ll be speaking from the heart.
Presence
What does presence mean? You know it when you see it, right? To me presence comes from…
- Being 100 percent present (that’s right, having presence comes from being present)
- Only focusing on your audience and what they are getting.
- Not worrying about whether or not they like you.
- Really looking at them and listening to them while you speak.
- Realizing when someone’s light goes on in your audience and non-verbally acknowledging that by sending them a signal or a look.
- Being able to have a true dialogue rather than a monologue with your audience.
- Responding to their responses.
- Finding a person who really needs to hear that particular part of your message and looking directly at him/her when you say it.
- Forgetting your speech and allowing it to simply all come back to you at the right time.
- Never worrying about remembering what to say next but focusing completely on what your audience is hearing now.
Mindset
Here are several ideas to consider when it comes to how you think as a speaker.
I believe what you think about immediately before going on stage will make or break your speech. Therefore, instead of it just being your skill-set, it’s also your mindset that makes the difference. Many speakers hope and pray to do well. However, to make the greatest impact on your audience, who does it make sense to think about? Your audience!
This is why, immediately before going on stage, I tell myself to…
Forget myself, remember my speech, and touch my audience in a positive impactful way
I believe the way a speaker thinks about preparation makes the difference between how well they impact their audience. For example, a lot of speakers think:
“I want to prepare so I can remember everything I need to say”
However, my view is different. I think the following:
I want to prepare so much that I can forget what I’ve prepared.
That way it can all come back to me at the right time, in the right space, and with the right fresh spontaneous energy. This is what makes your audience feel like you’re giving the speech for the first time. It’s not memorized, it’s internalized.
In my opinion…
Spontaneity is on the far side of preparation
I believe what a speaker thinks about past speeches impacts what’s going to happen in future speeches. For example, after a great presentation, a speaker might think…
“I hope my next audience is like this one!”
On the other hand, here’s what I force myself to think after a great engagement:
I have to let go of this audience before I get to my next one
Why in the world would I want to let go of the great feelings and connection I had with a great audience? Because if you don’t let go of your past audience, you cannot fully embrace your next audience. For example, I have a friend who once gave a great speech in Canada but then gave a poor speech a week later in South Africa. Guess what? It was the same speech! What I believe was the difference was he still held onto his Canadian audience, which didn’t let him fully embrace his South African audience.
I’ve had audiences that were so good I’ve wanted to replay the event over and over in my head. But Keep in mind one thing:
Your new audience doesn’t care what you did for your past audience
The key is to let that past audience go so you can focus 100% of your energy on the audience in front of you. This will help with your presence and speaking from the heart.
Speaking of past audiences, sometimes people ask me, “Craig, what keeps you grounded and working hard as a speaker?”
My answer is always the same. My motto is the following;
You’re only as good as your next speech
Your past successes mean nothing to your future audiences. When you accept that you’re only as good as your next speech, you prepare accordingly each and every time. And when you do, you automatically find yourself speaking from the heart, having a great presence, and touching lives in a profound way.



Great article, thanks Craig!
Thanks Craig. That is an adult portion that you’ve given us here. When I started Toastmasters, I recognized two barriers that have to be broken through to become an advanced, effective speaker. The first barrier is at the beginning: having the nerve or courage to stand before an audience and speak. The second barrier to climb, after having gotten used to being up front, is having the nerve or courage to let go of yourself on stage and live the speech. I am still struggling to get over that wall, but I’m making progress.
Items 9 and 10 under Presence are really where you step out onto the wire without the net. What I am learning is what you stated: prepare until the speech is internalized.
In order to internalize a speech, you have to gentle with it. It is as if a new speech is a reluctant dog that doesn’t want to stay with you because she doesn’t trust you. You may have experienced trying to get to know a shy dog. The dog is leery of getting too close. You have to build up trust with the animal so that it will stay with you. You can’t yell at it to stay or get angry. That will drive the dog away. Instead you need to be gentle and coax it come. Once you show the dog that you will care for it, she will be loyal for life.
You have to get to know your speech, coax it, play with it, and get comfortable enough with it that it will stay with you. Then when it is “showtime,” trust that your loyal speech will be waiting right there for you.
(I am reading Anne Miller’s Metaphorically Selling. Could you tell?)
Thanks for the thoughts, Craig.
Thanks Craig, for the thought provoking article.
An element of a speaker’s performance that is rarely, if ever mentioned in Public Speaking articles relates to ‘Who’ the speaker is. By that l don’t mean – what achievements, connections or status a speaker has. No, l am talking about WHO that person is, from the inside out.
When l speak, either in 1:1 conversation or on a platform, people are reading me. It’s the same with everyone. One of the critical success factors that l believe helps a speaker to engage with and reassure an audience is the degree to which he/she feels comfortable within themself.
A speaker, in my opinion, should never have to try and ‘Win over’ an audience. Instead, a speaker’s comfort level with self and others should determine, in its most basic form, the ability to easily relate with others. Or not. From this ability will flow either inhibition or expression and the need for approval or a heart for others.
In my own experiences and journey of self discovery, l have found that faith, friends and frank honesty have been invaluable. Fueled by counselling, self-reflection and the application of new approaches to life, l can now take the daily steps that steer me forward to being more comfortable with who l am. It is a road filled with setbacks, mistakes and much learning, but it regularly leads me to incremental yet magnificent breakthroughs.
I look at it this way…. If l am comfortable with myself, then it follows that others can be comfortable with me as well. By shaking off the shackles of the past – the inhibitions and insecurities, many of the blockages and hurdles that have held me back in the past are no longer a part of me. That makes me a more trustworthy and effective person and as a result, a better communicator.
One book l have found especially helpful in this process of self discovery is “Attachments: Why You Love, Feel, and Act the Way You Do” by Dr Tim Clinton & Dr Gary Sibcy. I highly recommend it to anyone.
This all sounds like fodder for a speech one day…..!!
Warm regards, David
Wow !!! Thanks for sharing these ideas. It really helps and i personally like to” Forget myself, remember my speech, and touch my audience in a positive impactful way”
WOW!
Thank You Craig. You are truly a Master.
Great comment Mark. I really like the train the dog metaphor.
I feel the same way as I work to internalize a speech.
“Stay speech, Stay.” Be Blessed.
Your best article yet,Craig. Thanks for posting and living it out. You demonstrated, in the article, what you were writing about. Now, if I can just “go and do likewise”! I have had a couple of experiences like this but I tend to try to hang on to the old audience and experience, and try to recreate it, when I should be concentrating on the upcoming one. I learned something new from this article.
Thanks so much. You are spot on with your comments. As speakers we should definitely keep the spotlight on the audience. I like it when you talked about preparing so much that you forgot what you prepare. That is great advice. Our presentations should be so integrated in our being that they flow naturally. Thanks again and make it a great day.
Every week, I look forward to your Nuts & Bolts of Public Speaking newsletter, as I always learn something to help my audience understand my message. Mostly though, I have trouble deciding what is my message.
From today’s lesson, one of the things I learned was to list my flaws, (which is difficult because I have so few, except for admitting that I have any.) This has helped me to understand more about what messages I am trying to convey to my audience.
Thank you so much for all your very helpful articles.
Thanks Craig. I do appreciate this phrase “I want to prepare so much that i can forget what I’ve prepared”. i will bare it my mind .
Craig and All,
How do we do all that is suggested? I like the idea of being gentle with our speech. – It might apply to our tennis and golf efforts also.
I recently heard a speech by the author of “Still Standing” about life before, during, and after hiting a roadside bomb in Iraq. Someone in the audience congratulated him on speaking without notes. I thought, If you talk about your life (The only thing you really know about) you are the expert and don’t need notes.
Craig, Thanks for the article. It’s one that I plan to store in evernote. – evernote.com is a neat free program for easily storing, reviewsing, and sharing all sorts of things that if you kept them as emails or favorites you would never review. ….. PS: I don’t work for evernote. They are adding about 30,000 users a day without my help.
Thank you Lynn. I hope to see you when I’m in South Africa next May!
Mark, thank you very much for your rich insights. I really appreciate it and, yes, I love the metaphor. That’s a great book.
The key is, even when you show off the dog for the first time, he might not react exactly the way you want. However, once it gets used to being shown off, it will come into its own and flourish the way it should. So when it comes to your message, test it and tweak it.
It’s interesting because I was up late the other night going over my speech and my wife said, “Craig, go to bed. You already know what you’re going to say.” Without thinking I said, “I know, but what I’m going to say has to get to know me.” We laughed.
Thank you David for your valuable thoughts and for the book recommendation. I will add that to my “On Deck” list of books to read.
One of the things I love about speaking is that it keeps us growing as people.
You are very welcome Sayi!
Thanks!
Thanks Martin. I agree, that’s a great metaphor and one that will truly stick!
Thanks Bob. As with most of my articles, they are are also reminders for me. Thanks!
Thanks Oakland for reinforcing this idea. I appreciate it!
You’re very welcome Karyn. I feel oftentimes that my messages find me. The key is realizing there’s value in them, because that’s how we’ll start to develop them into something special. Thanks for your comments!
You’re welcome Vich
Thanks Richard for your comments and for the recommendation for evernote. I’ll look at that because I believe it’s important for people to capture their own genius.
Hi Craig,
What a lovely message Craig. You have been a great source of inspiration ever sicne I heard you speak in Ovations 2011 – Div 82 conference in Mysore, India.
I can tell you every point that you gave starting from “Be Ready” instead of “Get Ready” and all the examples – all of them have got imprinted in my mind.
My dream was to win the World Champion of Public Speaking one day. I have attempted a few times and I continue to. But this article of yours have made me change the perspective. Speak your heart and it will get what recognition it deserves.
It is often very difficult not to keep the contest winning as the primary objective, but I think the key lies in being genuine and try to speak from the heart everytime I speak and leave the results to its own merit.
Thanks again Craig. Will look forward to shake hands with you again sometime somewhere.
With Love.
Thank you Sridhar for your message. Indeed, I believe if you reach to touch lives, everything else will fall properly into place. Keep speaking up!
Craig, you are the real deal. I love your tips and reminders — especially the one about “letting go”. A good life lesson not just for speeches, for everything we do. Always appreciated your insight. Thanks for sharing so readily. You’re a pro.
A timely reminder, Craig, and it rings true. Every less than successful speech and every less than successful contest for me has had one thing in common – what was in my mind before and during the speech. Thank you for reminding me of its importance. I’m feeling very pressured contest-wise, with all sorts of external thoughts going through my head at the moment. Almost as if all these external things are crowding me, trying to squeeze out the main thing – touching people’s lives. How did you cope with the battle between these things and mute all those other things so that the making a difference to the audience didn’t get strangled in the process – when you were starting out?
Thank you Marion. I appreciate that. Indeed “letting go” is a life lesson as well.
Hi Michelle,
Thanks for the question. Wow, that was a while ago but I remember getting to a point where I said, “This is the speech I’m going with and as long as I touch lives, I’ve succeeded…regardless of what the judges say.” I found that when you keep your focus on touching lives, all else seems to fall into place.
Craig this blog is just amazing thanks for the knowledge again. You took your time and I will be speaking from the heart
Thanks Craig for this thought provoking article. I agree that being in the moment with your audience where you are focusing on your audience instead of what your are going to say or do is the most powerful part of presenting. The audience feels that connection and that creates that powerful “Presence”. It’s not what we are doing it’s how are we connecting at an energy level.
Thank you Valerie. I appreciate that.